The table is set for three, but tonight is only me

Let's start celebrating the month of romance, love and friendships on a high note with this little story. As before, this is a follow-up post!, by the time this is out, I will have a very important event so I hope is going well! enjoy the rest of the month! xoxox

after four years we are going to meet up. I tell my mom “I am going to see my friends tonight”, “your friends?” she asked me with a weird look and a weird tone. “yeah? why do you say it in that tone?”, “you guys haven’t seen each other in 4 years, you think you guys are still friends?” she’s got a point, we barely talk nowadays let alone see, but we were inseparable back then. “you always say that friends are better kept apart”, it’s true, she says her and her best friend have been close for 18 years and they barely see each other, “to avoid the boredom” she always said.

the problem is her best friend died two years ago, and she’s been lonely for most of this time. she’s been stuck, and so have I.

“mom, we are friends.” I told her in a bitter tone, “you sound like you are 12, when was the last time they came over?”, never. but I don’t answer. “I'm just saying, maybe not showing up would be the best, they haven’t shown appreciation for you in the past 6 years, why should you?”, in a sense, it is true, I visited my friends in 2019-2020, a couple of times. but I don’t say anything.

as I get ready I keep thinking about what my mom said. I have always been on the verge of just ignoring them, at the end of the day, a relationship works both ways, not just one.

as here we go again by the neighbourhood plays in the background.

“what should I wear? usually, we coordinate, coordinated.” I said aloud as I tried the green and white long sleeve, “too pastel”, the yellow long sleeve, “too bright”, “fuck, maybe these pants are not it”, I changed to more classic pants, “maybe this would work”, I put on a bracelet given to me by leo, and the ring imber gave me.

*ding ding* whatsapp notification. “hey, is there any way I can bring somebody else?”, I stared at the message. all of our friends had declined for various reasons. “I can’t drive that far, I'm due in three weeks”, “I can’t, I am literally at the airport”, “I'm sorry, I don’t think I can’t meet you guys looking like this”, “I'm in Spain right now, didn’t you see my pictures?”, “it’s 2 am here, I can’t video call”. [typing] “who are you bringing?” no, wait, delete; [typing] “mmm sure” send.

*ding ding* whatsapp notification. “maaaan, I have a question.” I stared at the message, leo never calls me “man” he calls me by the nickname he gave to me “tonecito”, [typing] “can you bring someone with you?” I asked hoping that the question was not that. “yeah, that, just two people, if I get drunk somebody can drive me home”. weird. [typing] “aren’t you coming with imber? who are you bringing?” send. seen. no reply.

an hour later.

“we are on our way”, I was sitting on my porch drinking some sweet apple juice, I hate apple juice, but my hunch told me the night was going to be long and sour, as I saw imber’s text come in. seen. I don’t reply. my mom told me to wait until they tell me they are there, “in case they leave you hanging.” so I did, wait.

*ding ding* whatsapp notification. “we are here, we’ll order something to drink”, leo’s message makes me happy, I'll finally see them again. “mom I'm out!”, I sprint towards the door, opened my car and turned some music on.

I don’t love you anymore by the quireboys starts playing.

the drive is around 30 minutes, it was sunny, 4 pm, but I still felt something telling me to go back home.

forty-two minutes later.

I pulled over and see leo’s car.

I walked in and the lady asked me if I had a reservation, “yes babe”. as I walked in I see them, not together, one in a corner and the other on the other corner, 3 other people filled out the table. I walked to the table and nobody stands up, not a single hug. “heyyyy”, “oh my god you are so tall, and skinnier, what happened?”, from all the people, he had to bring theo with him, the one person I had the biggest rivalry in high school, the person who stole my best friend away from me, the person who tried to turned my other best friend against me so he could date her... I felt like I was in high school back again. “hey matheo, nice to see you again” I said in the most sarcastic tone.

imber stands up since she was closer to me, she’s really small and a hug from her feels like hugging a baby. “hey baby, it’s so nice to see you”, not again, no agains. “this is anthony”, she points out to the guy on her right, funny, to meet someone with the same name as me, “hi”, he is charming, big smile, nose piercing and strong hands, and a beard, “hi” I smiled.

“tonecito, this is ashley”, leo said pointing at the third person sitting in the middle of him and matheo, I didn’t even notice her until now, just a shadow taking form now. “hi”, I said and she just stared at me. four years and he just introduces ashley, he does not come up to me, no nothing.

“so, am I sitting or just standing here like a tree without branches”, nobody laughed, anthony gave me a little "huh-laugh" which was enough, I guess. I knew it was going to be a harsh night.

it’s been 12 minutes and it feels like two hours have passed since I sat down.

“okay. nobody is speaking?”, I finally asked. I talk a lot, but the tension is greater than my four years of longing.

“so, as you can see we are not together anymore”, I was looking at the menu as I waited for somebody to speak, and that was not on my “what to follow-it-up-with- card”. I noticed at that moment that nobody had a menu in their hands, just two beers on the table and a glass of water. “but it was her fault”, okay so now we are speaking. “let’s not blame anybody” matheo chimes in. and I am still trying to process the fact that they have extra spicy wings on the menu “this must be delicious” I said aloud.

my mom warned me, and I should have listened.

“we are not joking anthony”, and now what? “we just wanted to tell you in person”, if you are looking for someone to ruin a single minute of your life you might as well just hire leo for it because he is good at it. “okay, and what made any of you think that this was the best way to say this? in front of I don’t know who anyway”, I pointed at ashley and anthony without hesitation, it was an instinct. the disgrace. regardless of bad or good news, I prefer things to be told in private, it makes me feel special somehow, have to make it about me always. narcissistic. that was a joke by the way.

“well, that’s the thing, this is my boyfriend”, this is so bizarre, “and that’s his.. new... girlfriend ashley”, bizarre, she can't even spit it out. “and matheo is my boyfriend now”, I can’t coup with this type of situation, not in front of people I don't know, it's like they stare at me waiting for a reaction, like an spectacle. “you are sick anthony”, matheo responds, like I did not have a crush on him in our first year of high school.

the waitress comes in at the best of times, “are you guys ready to order?” to order a funeral for these two? yes. “no, we are actually leaving just now”, this girl opens her mouth to say the most out of pocket thing -to me at least- and the waitress leaves.

I looked at leo, I stared. he doesn’t say a single word “no, why would you guys leave?”, anthony says. I like this guy. “because we did not just make this trip to tell his bestieeee here the news, we have somewhere else to be”, ashley says, pointing at me. I stared at matheo, he is crealy having fun at all of this. what an asshole. “where are you going…?” I asked, my voice sounding shaky, I can barely contain my tears and I can feel them making their way out, “no, we are not leaving, we are going to eat first, and spend some time together.” comforting. asshole.

20 minutes have passed since ashley decided to open her mouth. nobody has been talking as a group, in separate entities, yes. I am barely part of the conversation. I did not let a tear come out, it swam on my eyelids.

*ding ding* whatsapp notification. “how is it going? can you bring me some french fries or even better, a McDonald's?”- sis. I don’t reply. “how are you son? how are the guys? send pictures and tell them I love them and I hope they are doing good!”, my mom, what a hypocrite, a loving one. “my mom says hi”, and I don’t say anything else. they just mumble some shit. nobody has ordered any food, just drinks.

“hey, I think we should sit somewhere else”, imber says to me on my ear, “you mean just the three of us?”, “yeah, we can talk… or”, “yeah sure”, I call the waitress, “hi, mmm, you think we can get a table for three?” and she agrees, “you guys are leaving us in a single table, we might as well get the fuck out of here?” so much aggression, again, not surprising coming from leo. “no, it’s for us three, you, me, tony”, I stare at imber, what the fuck is happening, “we have to talk,” she says while looking at me as if she is reading all of my thoughts.

we walked to the table as the others stay put in their seats. anthony sits quietly drinking juice and I see him calling the waitress to order something. "I like that guy. fuck you matheo" I said aloud, they just looked at me.

“so what do you guys wanna talk about”, I asked sarcastically, “we broke up a year ago”, imber said with a straight face. a year ago, not two months or 4 months ago, a year. “we wanted to tell you but we didn’t feel like…” there’s a pause, we are not as close anymore, I get it. “yeah no I get it, it’s totally fine”, it’s not. but best friends in high school are not supposed to last. “everybody else knows?”, “yeah”, both of them reply. “so I did become the dad huh”, the recurring joke during high school was that I was like the dad of our group, I was the oldest, the tallest, and overall the mature one, everybody, even our teachers, used to say “anthony is like the dad of you guys”, and just like that, I became the dad. “no trust, stopped speaking to me the moment we were in different states, and just… how come everybody else knows?” I asked, it just scratched my brain. "well, we-", there is a pause again. I figured it out. "you guys went out..." nobody speaks. I assume we can all agree that's the answer. "just to say this? hard to believe." I say in the most serious tone you'll ever hear me speak, like a politician, a serious one.

the waitress comes in, without even asking me I say “yeah I’ll get this”, I showed her the menu, I don’t even know what I'm ordering, they both show the waitress something as well. “no, it’s not that, we live closer, but... it’s just that we've grown apart, all of us, and now it is time for you to do too”, leo wise words are like the apple juice to my taste buds. “not that, we know you love us and we love you too, but we just couldn’t bring ourselves to tell you, after everything you went through because of us” I instantly looked at Imber as if she just opened a wound that was just curated by a doctor. “don’t, don’t go there”, leo says.

we sat in silence, there was just music playing and chattering on the other tables.

the waitress comes in with the food, “here you go, is there anything else you’ll like?”, I took a moment to look at her, she is tall and blonde, she looks young and radiant, full of life, she was probably the mom of her group of friends. “no, we don’t, thanks”, leo says and he just stares at the food.

nobody tocuhes their food. I look over and matheo and ashley are eating while anthony is staring at us.

as I stare at him, “you guys can leave, I don’t wanna see you again, not tomorrow, not tonight, not in a year or two, not in five”, I said it. finally. “you see, you are still a kid, acting all immature, you thought we’ll be together for life just for you?”, leo snaps on me. for context, they were together because I set them up back in junior year, we had been best friends for two years. “why would I think that? I have not mentioned the setup in ages, leo”, imber doesn’t say a single word, I take it as an “I agree with leo”, kinda thing. “admit it, you were obsessed with the fact that we got together because of you,” now his voice is getting louder, the person at the next table sighs. “it was a joke”, I used to joke about how they were together because of me and every time they spoke about it I would jump in and say “ah! because of me, duh”, not anymore, how would they know though? I should have allow Imber to talk about the "everything you went through because of us", to make him suffer for a little bit. but I don't.

“I admit it, it was a bad joke after some time, but doesn’t explain the fact that you guys cut me off from our friendship, no messages, no text, no nothing, I was the one running and y’all were not even walking”, I am, yet again, at the verge of crying. “that’s not how it is,” “and how is it then imber?” I can hear my own voice shaking, “maybe we got tired of you and your jokes, and your boredom and your perfect life" she is calm yet aggressive... ouch.

as she speaks, I see anthony gets up, walking towards us, “hey, you guys are getting a little loud, maybe let’s just go outside”, he looks at me, and at me only. “fine, I'll leave.” I get up and sprint towards my car, I hear footsteps coming my way, and all I can imagine is the waitress, "she’s trying to get the money for that goddamn pasta” I thought.

“hey man, hey, hey”, I stopped at my car's door. “how much is it?” I yelled, it’s not the waitress but anthony, maybe he wants me to pay for what I ordered. “ I have apple pay only”, “no, I just wanted to talk to you”, yeah no. “I know they have been horrible friends, imber told me how she felt about how things turned out to be in the past years, but believe me, they love you, she does at least…” I stopped him right there. “how would you know? for how long have you been around?” he stares at me and look at him, I am trying to analyze his expression, there is pettiness on it, he feels bad for me, poor man. “that’s what I thought”, I open the door, “for more than you know”, he responds, I don't know what that means, I am baffled. "Hey, listen" he grabbed the door before I closed it, "I mean look, here, this is everything she wanted to send you a couple of months ago", he shows me his instagram, there he opens his dms and shows me a conversation with imber, I just skimmed through it.

"I am sorry... I love you more than you... and it was just boring now... stalking me... my mom and dad...", none of that caught my attention, something else did. "I saw enough, believe me, I do not care anymore."

I shoved his arm away, strong as hell arms, goddamn, and closed the door, “connection complete” oh shut up car. I play anything. fallen star by the neighbourhoud it is.

I looked through the window, nobody comes out, just anthony on, what I presume, is his car. as he takes out a cigarette, he glares at me, I hate the fact that my windows are not tinted. he lights up the cigarette and starts smoking. he is wearing relaxed jeans and a white shirt tucked in. “who the fuck are you?”, I asked my car. I see matheo coming out of the restaurant. fuck you asshole. time to go.

I stopped to get gas, route 8 is such a long route. I opened Instagram. leo updated his story, it’s a picture of the table, “the table is set for three, but tonight is only me.” “huh that’s funny”, I thought. I clicked on search, and I look for imber's account, no story updates. "but there was a green circle on anthony's phone... she does not have me on her close friends list", I said aloud to remind myself that it is real, that I have not been these people's close friend for a while now...*new follower request notification* "no way" I said as I closed the door of my car, retoneei and it's profile picture is a photo of anthony. *mom is calling*

“how is it going?”, “I'm on my way home, you were right…”

kamikaze by omar apollo plays as I drive my way to the nearest mcdonalds.

To be continued...